"and how funny it'll seem, sending presents to one's own feet! and how odd the directions will look."
So, like, I’m sitting in my room and I just hear, “You are an ignorant furby, and nobody in this house likes you”
My sister is mentally abusing the furby she got for Christmas because “It says on the box that the way we treat them shapes their personalities.”
SHE JUST WANTS TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN. YOU CAN’T PLAY WITH PEOPLE’S LIVES LIKE THAT. I AM LIVING IN A HOUSE WITH LUCIFER.
your sister is going to get fucking murdered
(via thorinsbeltbuckle)
“HONEY”
“WHAT”
“WHERE’S MY SPEECH NOTES”
“WHAT”
“WHERE. ARE. MY. SPEECH. NOTES.”
“I UHHHH. ORGANISED THEM.”
“WHAT?!”
“WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW.”
“I NEED THEM”
“UH UH DON’T YOU THINK ABOUT PRACTISING THAT SPEECH TONIGHT I’VE BEEN PLANNING THIS DINNER FOR MONTHS”
“BUT AMERICA IS IN NEED”
“MY STOMACH IS IN NEED OF THAT FANCY DINNER.”
“YOU TELL ME WHERE MY SPEECH IS WOMAN THIS IS FOR INTERNATIONAL JUSTICE”
“I’M MICHELLE OBAMA. I INVENTED JUSTICE.”
(via elijah-is-sportin-wood)
my cousin asked me what my favorite season was and i said “of what” and i just
it’s frightening how long it took me to figure out what was wrong with that response
me too omfg
(via robert-donut-junior)
I would never cheat in a relationship
because that would require two people finding me attractive.
(via hes-my-whore)
I would never cheat in a relationship
because that would require two people finding me attractive.
(via hes-my-whore)
Imagine reading a book of every conversation where people have spoken about you.
(via hes-my-whore)
i dont know if people are checking me out or shocked at how ugly i am
(via fake-mermaid)
I AM NO MAN
I AM NO MAN
MUSTERTHE HOHIRRIM
(via elijah-is-sportin-wood)
Announcement coming Monday
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
I smell ads coming if this is true
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT
I AM SEEING FUCKING ADS I AM SEEING FUCKING ADS
ABANDON FUCKING SHIP ABANDON FUCKING SHIP
thank you french-miaou for offering hope.
(via agardenintheshire)
(via loratyrell)
(via loratyrell)
